i am : wondering
about : a word
what word : contentment

where can i buy one?
how much does it cost?
will i find it somewhere in my messy room?
or in one of the corners of my house?
in the wet market?
in the department store?
which section?
HOW MUCH DOES IT COST???!!!
is it in ebay?

when can i buy one?
later?
in a minute?
tomorrow?
next week?
in a month?
a year maybe?

whom can i buy it from?
you?
me?
my mom?
my dad?
from nanay?

can somebody help me answer the question?
i so badly need a dose of contentment..
or an over dose of it..
so badly..
so desperately..

mood : (sumkinda) EXCITED!!!

im going out today..
me and my G friends are going window shopping and shoe hunting..
we are planning to conquer the ukay - ukay too..
im hoping for a little food trip too..
hahaha..

so yeah..
im taking a break today..
more works for tomorrow..
more time here and around..
and my birthday is coming..
i hope ill be fucking wasted by that time..
and then after that..
a week maybe in Iligan..

more projects i hope..
hehehe..

see you around..

realization :

if something or someone is bogging you..
u can actually have options..
one is..
you can ignore them..
talk to them like nothing happened..
eventually they will surrender..
another thing is..
still talk to them..
interact..
but let them feel that ur not that interested..
give them the i-dont-wanna-talk-about-it attitude..
or like you have amnesia..
eventually they will give up..

they will eventually realize that maybe its not meant to be..
they may stop bogging you and find someone else to screw up..

DONT FEEL GUILTY AT ALL..
because your are helping them..
they have no choice but to get back up..
love their selves more..
and love somebody else and be love in return..

but the best thing..
bitter maybe..
is to tell them the truth..
a matter of YES or NO..

and what ever may happen..
just be prepared..

coz only when ur losing that u can get to appreciate someone..
coz only when u lose that u can appreciate the smallest and simpliest victory..

i just stayed home today..
i was out last night..
i miss puking on the toilet bowl..
hearing and seeing ur waste draining down..
loving and puking..
after letting go the waste..
everything feels even better..

a little hang over..
bare with it..
it will eventually go away..

time heals..
let it..

when God closes a door, he opens a window..
just be patient..
and believe..